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  • Advice of many experienced Martial Artists coincide in the point of "go, read, look around, ask---then decide"

  • The Top 13 Signs You've Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School Author : Chris White : http://www.topfive.com
  • Your dojo's symbol is a bullseye target
  • First demonstration consists of falling to the floor, curling into the fetal position, and whimpering pitifully
  • Frequent pauses while instructor tearfully stops to right his spilled pocket protector
  • The "gis" are used hospital gowns, and the "throwing stars" are just slices of old cheese
  • The homework is always just to watch a Jackie Chan movie.
  • The techniques are only effective if your attacker is one of the Three Stooges
  • Current students bark out on cue the phrase "Insurance does not exist in this dojo!"
  • You take yourself to the mat 4 out of 5 times simply trying to tie your belt on
  • Sensei's "ancient Chinese secret" required notifying the neighbors when he moved in
  • and the Number 1 Sign You've Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School... Did Confucius ever really say he was "going to open up a can of whoop-ass" on someone?
  • Instructor's low fees enhanced by take from one-on-one "pop quizzes" in dark alleys
  • Benihana has a restraining order against your instructor
  • Local muggers gather in the parking lot waiting for class to end